Monday, January 31, 2011

Monday Morning Quotes: Frank Zappa

“Remember there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.”

"The whole foundation of Christianity is based on the idea that intellectualism is the work of the Devil. Remember the apple on the tree? Okay, it was the Tree of Knowledge. ‘You eat this apple, you're going to be as smart as God. We can't have that.’"

“If you want to get together in any exclusive situation and have people love you, fine – but to hang all this desperate sociology on the idea of The Cloud-Guy who has The Big Book, who knows if you’ve been bad or good – and cares about any of it – to hang it all on that, folks, is the chimpanzee part of the brain working.”

"Well, I believe that those energies and processes exist. I just don't think that they've been adequately described or adequately named yet, because people are too willing to make it all into something that supports a religious theory of one flavor or another. If you start defining these things in nuts-and-bolts scientific terms, people reject it because it's not fun, y'know. It takes some of the romance out of being dead ... because of people's desires to have eternal life and to extend their influence from beyond the grave ... all that Houdini type stuff ... but basically, I think when you're dead ... you're dead. It comes with the territory."

“So, when Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, if you go for all these fairy tales, that "evil" woman convinced the man to eat the apple, but the apple came from the Tree of Knowledge. And the punishment that was then handed down, the woman gets to bleed and the guy's got to go to work, is the result of a man desiring, because his woman suggested that it would be a good idea, that he get all the knowledge that was supposedly the property and domain of God. So, that right away sets up Christianity as an anti-intellectual religion. You never want to be that smart. If you're a woman, it's going to be running down your leg, and if you're a guy, you're going to be in the salt mines for the rest of your life. So, just be a dumb fuck and you'll all go to heaven. That's the subtext of Christianity.”

“Get smart and I'll fuck you over -- sayeth The Lord.”

“Scientology, how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How's that for a religion?”

“If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest or some guy on TV telling you how to do your shit, then YOU DESERVE IT!”

Quotes from PositiveAtheism.


Erica said...

I had no idea that Zappa said all this stuff - pretty cool!
Also in absolutely no way ironic - my word verification for this comment is "staysin"

Steve said...

I like that we can post something and someone says "Damn, that person was also an atheist? Cool." Maybe next time one of us hears something ignorant we will speak up.

The CAPTCHA words are the devil telling you what to do. Or it is just a coincidence.

Erica said...

Pretty sure the Universe wants me to sin to balance out all those good Christians out there ;)
Today the word is snesse - is this God telling me the Loch Ness monster is real???

Steve said...

There is no such thing as sin. Only "good times."

*gun fingaz*

AtheistExile said...

I have several of Zappa's quotes. Here's some not mentioned above:

“Tax the FUCK out of the churches!” ~Frank Zappa

“Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy.” ~Frank Zappa

“Nobody looks good with brown lipstick on.” ~Frank Zappa

“Children are naïve -- they trust everyone. School is bad enough, but, if you put a child anywhere in the vicinity of a church, you're asking for trouble.” ~Frank Zappa

“It has never mattered to me that thirty million people might think I'm wrong. The number of people who thought Hitler was right did not make him right . . . Why do you necessarily have to be wrong just because a few million people think you are?” ~Frank Zappa