Monday, April 2, 2012

The FNG

             

                Hi, my name is Nick, and I’ll be one of your cultural hacktivists here at Left Hemispheres.  I’m a secular humanist, a 9.5 on the Dawkins Atheism Scale, early thirties, a husband, father, former Marine and soldier, strikingly handsome when I take care of myself, and a Firefly fan. 

               Not enough?  Ok.  I’ve written some guest posts here (and here) before, and you can gather some intel from them on my experiences in the military and with liberal religion, namely Unitarian Universalism.  Aside from this, the other difference I’m bringing to the table is my political perspective.  I’m a little more old school libertarian, like, before the term was coopted by fans of Ayn Rand’s hack political fiction.  I’m more of the kind of guy that was being put up against the wall by both the fascists and the liberals.  Think Spain, circa 1937.  Ok, fuck it, I’m an anarchist.  But, I really don’t refer to myself as such, much as I don’t refer to myself as an atheist normally.  They’re both terms that are based on an absence of something (I happen to be full of it), and have become incredibly loaded with all kinds of pejorative baggage, so I constantly have to explain myself.

“No, I don’t think we should violently overthrow the government.”

“No, I don’t throw bombs.”

“No, I’m not one of those kids who doesn’t shower and wears a keffiyeh around their necks and tight jeans, hoping to piss off my rich parents.”

“No, I don’t want to make your house (car/computer/significant other) public property.”

We’ll get into what I do believe later.  Trust me.

So, here I am, finally made it to the big time.  Well, maybe the middling time.  Regardless, I’m happy to have gained admittance to one of the evil atheist cabals striking fear into the hearts of the religious.  It’s on.

7 comments:

fester60613 said...

9.5 on the Dawkins scale! I look forward to reading your posts.

Andy said...

I like the 9.5 rating on the 7-point Dawkins scale.

Ahlers said...

I'm still a Christian, and I am still your friend.

Nick said...

I like to exaggerate a bit. Pomp without circumstance. A 6.9 would be a fairer assessment.

I also like to see who's paying attention.

Nick said...

Bill, we'll work on that first part. It'll be ok.

Ahlers said...

I have learned that it is okay to be a Christain and to hate the Southern Baptist Convention. Speaking of which, I believe that the Southern Baptist Convention is responsible for creating more Athiests than Christians. What do you think?

Steve said...

Ahlers, have you heard of the Catholic Church?

More broadly, reading the Bible is a popular method of making godless heathens.