Monday, September 19, 2011

Monday Morning Quotes ~ Woody Allen

“God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.”


“The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife -- a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held.”

"I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear."

“I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles.”

“I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.”

“If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.”

"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?"

“Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.”

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”

”I don't want to achieve immortality through my work ... I want to achieve it through not dying.”

“If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.”

“To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.”

““If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.


"If Woody Allen were a Muslim, he’d be dead by now."
-- Salman Rushdie,

.
.

2 comments:

Andy said...

My favorite movie of all time is "Crimes and Misdemeanors".

Steve said...

Honestly, I am not a big fan. I have tried to enjoy several of his movies and I just can't do it.

This makes me sound like a savage to many of my friends.